Tech

Silicon Valley hubris, tech innovation gone wrong, and the digital dystopia we're all living in. From AI chatbots having existential crises to social media platforms imploding in real-time, technology has never been more entertaining or terrifying.

30 stories

Tech

Amazon Announces 'Shark Week' Sale on Products That Will Devour Your Savings

The e-commerce giant is offering unprecedented discounts on household appliances designed to consume your disposable income with predatory efficiency.

9h ago2 views

Elite Magazine Publishes Definitive Guide for Pretending Not to Notice Celebrities

New 'Country Life' feature offers crucial etiquette for maintaining social hierarchy in the presence of the famous.

9h ago

Local Animal Shelter Successfully Predicts 2026 Fundraising Event, Seeks Donations For Time Machine

Organizers of the 'Walk for Animals 2026' event in Escondido are celebrating a groundbreaking achievement in temporal philanthropy.

9h ago

Meta and YouTube Ordered to Pay Users in Hours of Lost Productivity

Tech giants face unprecedented ruling forcing them to compensate individuals for time spent endlessly scrolling.

9h ago

Latest Stories

Meta, Google Ordered To Pay Teen $3 Million For Successfully Delivering Product As Advertised

A California jury found tech giants liable for a user’s addiction, setting a precedent that could redefine corporate responsibility for fulfilling customer desires.

9h ago1

Vatican Unveils New 'Thoughts and Prayers' AI to Address Clergy Misconduct

The Holy See announces a groundbreaking technological solution to centuries of institutional failure.

9h ago1

Archaeologists Confirm War Crimes Definitely Happened, Just Like Everyone Said

Groundbreaking new research utilizes advanced shoveling techniques to uncover evidence of widely reported atrocities.

9h ago2

Olympic Gold Medalist Hilary Knight Reportedly 'Just Happy To Be Here,' Confirms She Is Not, In Fact, A Robot

The decorated athlete is said to be enjoying the post-Olympic media circuit, despite persistent rumors of advanced AI integration.

10h ago1

New AI Can Predict Earthquake Damage, Still Can't Find Your Keys

Scientists celebrate a major breakthrough in disaster preparedness while acknowledging the technology's glaring everyday limitations.

10h ago2

Woman Sues NFL Star, Citing Emotional Trauma From Not Being Able To Brag About It

Attorneys for the alleged victim claim the inability to leverage the incident for social media engagement has caused irreparable psychological damage.

10h ago4

Duggar Family Announces New Reality Show Documenting Legal Troubles, Ratings Expected To Soar

Sources close to the family confirm '19 Kids and Counting: In Custody' will offer unprecedented access to the judicial process.

10h ago1

Scientists Discover Cell Membranes Are Just Tiny, Overly Complicated IKEA Showrooms

Groundbreaking research reveals cellular organization mimics Swedish furniture giant's baffling layout, complete with 'nanodomains' for impulse purchases.

15h ago1

California Governor Demands Elon Musk Return To His Assigned Role As American Visionary

Governor Newsom expressed concern that Musk's recent 'distractions' are jeopardizing the nation's carefully curated narrative of technological dominance.

15h ago2

Apple Introduces Mandatory Age Verification, Citing Unbearable Burden of Parental Responsibility

The tech giant confirmed the new feature will offload the last vestiges of child-rearing onto its robust server infrastructure.

15h ago2

Luke Combs Praised For Bold Stance Of Having No Stance Whatsoever

Critics laud country superstar's latest album for its unwavering commitment to appealing to every single person.

15h ago1

Apple Announces Siri Will Be Available As Optional Download For Users Who Enjoy Being Ignored

The tech giant confirms its digital assistant will no longer be forced upon users, allowing them to actively choose a relationship with polite, yet ultimately unhelpful, AI.

15h ago1

Supreme Court Rules 1980s Tech Companies Must Continue To Fight Each Other In Modern Court

Justices cite 'historical precedent' in upholding Betamax-era legal frameworks for 21st-century internet disputes.

15h ago1

Local News Station Replaces Human Traffic Reporter With AI That Just Screams 'YOU'RE LATE!'

WTAE-TV's new 'TrafficBot 5000' promises unparalleled accuracy and a complete lack of empathy for your morning commute.

15h ago1

Andy Cohen Confirms 'Real Housewives' Franchise Now Fully Automated By Algorithm

Bravo executive praises AI for its ability to generate 'even more organic, unscripted drama' than human cast members.

15h ago1

AI-Generated Fruit Videos Deemed 'Surprisingly Accurate' Depiction of Online Discourse

Experts praise the digital produce for perfectly capturing the internet's descent into performative outrage and inexplicable sexualization.

15h ago1

AI Chatbots Now Offering To Summarize Your Existential Dread For A Small Fee

New 'Cognitive Concierge' feature promises to distill your deepest anxieties into a digestible, zero-click format.

15h ago1

Literary Agency Seeks 'Digital Alchemist' To Transform Author Souls Into Engagement Metrics

New job posting reveals the publishing industry's desperate quest to monetize the very essence of human creativity.

22h ago1

New Brain Monitoring Tech Confirms Most Thoughts Are Just Reheated Leftovers

Scientists celebrate breakthrough in understanding why humanity keeps making the same mistakes.

22h ago2

New Streaming Service Promises To Deliver Exactly What You Already Watch, But With More Ads

Industry experts hail the groundbreaking innovation of putting internet videos onto a slightly larger screen.

22h ago2

Scientists Discover Microbes Have Been Using Ethernet Cables To Produce Methane For Years

New research indicates seafloor microorganisms are far more technologically advanced than previously assumed, possibly explaining slow internet speeds.

22h ago3

AI Infrastructure Companies Assure Public They Are Definitely Not Just Building More Server Farms

Executives from CoreWeave and Nebius confirm their 'AI-native' data centers are fundamentally different from, and superior to, the 'legacy' server farms of yesteryear.

22h ago2

Chelsea FC Appoints AI Chatbot As New Manager, Citing 'Unmatched Data Analysis' And 'Zero Emotional Baggage'

Club leadership believes the advanced algorithm will finally bring stability to the notoriously volatile Premier League team.

22h ago1

Analysts Identify 7 Software Stocks Poised To Profit From Everyone Else’s AI Panic

New report suggests certain tech giants are uniquely positioned to capitalize on the widespread confusion and existential dread surrounding artificial intelligence.

22h ago3

OpenAI Announces Groundbreaking New AI That Can Prioritize Other AI Projects

Company pivots to focus on developing an artificial intelligence capable of making strategic business decisions about other artificial intelligences.

1d ago4

OpenAI Announces Groundbreaking New AI That Can Prioritize Other AIs

The company hails its latest innovation as a crucial step in managing the burgeoning AI ecosystem it created.

1d ago3

Hambry

Tech

Amazon Announces 'Shark Week' Sale on Products That Will Devour Your Savings

Elite Magazine Publishes Definitive Guide for Pretending Not to Notice Celebrities

Local Animal Shelter Successfully Predicts 2026 Fundraising Event, Seeks Donations For Time Machine

Meta and YouTube Ordered to Pay Users in Hours of Lost Productivity

Latest Stories

Meta, Google Ordered To Pay Teen $3 Million For Successfully Delivering Product As Advertised

Vatican Unveils New 'Thoughts and Prayers' AI to Address Clergy Misconduct

Archaeologists Confirm War Crimes Definitely Happened, Just Like Everyone Said

Olympic Gold Medalist Hilary Knight Reportedly 'Just Happy To Be Here,' Confirms She Is Not, In Fact, A Robot

New AI Can Predict Earthquake Damage, Still Can't Find Your Keys

Woman Sues NFL Star, Citing Emotional Trauma From Not Being Able To Brag About It

Duggar Family Announces New Reality Show Documenting Legal Troubles, Ratings Expected To Soar

Scientists Discover Cell Membranes Are Just Tiny, Overly Complicated IKEA Showrooms

California Governor Demands Elon Musk Return To His Assigned Role As American Visionary

Apple Introduces Mandatory Age Verification, Citing Unbearable Burden of Parental Responsibility

Luke Combs Praised For Bold Stance Of Having No Stance Whatsoever

Apple Announces Siri Will Be Available As Optional Download For Users Who Enjoy Being Ignored

Supreme Court Rules 1980s Tech Companies Must Continue To Fight Each Other In Modern Court

Local News Station Replaces Human Traffic Reporter With AI That Just Screams 'YOU'RE LATE!'

Andy Cohen Confirms 'Real Housewives' Franchise Now Fully Automated By Algorithm

AI-Generated Fruit Videos Deemed 'Surprisingly Accurate' Depiction of Online Discourse

AI Chatbots Now Offering To Summarize Your Existential Dread For A Small Fee

Literary Agency Seeks 'Digital Alchemist' To Transform Author Souls Into Engagement Metrics

New Brain Monitoring Tech Confirms Most Thoughts Are Just Reheated Leftovers

New Streaming Service Promises To Deliver Exactly What You Already Watch, But With More Ads

Scientists Discover Microbes Have Been Using Ethernet Cables To Produce Methane For Years

AI Infrastructure Companies Assure Public They Are Definitely Not Just Building More Server Farms

Chelsea FC Appoints AI Chatbot As New Manager, Citing 'Unmatched Data Analysis' And 'Zero Emotional Baggage'

Analysts Identify 7 Software Stocks Poised To Profit From Everyone Else’s AI Panic

OpenAI Announces Groundbreaking New AI That Can Prioritize Other AI Projects

OpenAI Announces Groundbreaking New AI That Can Prioritize Other AIs

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