Politics

Political theater, government incompetence, and policy decisions that leave everyone scratching their heads. Bipartisan coverage of the legislative circus, executive overreach, and the eternal question: "Wait, they did WHAT?"

30 stories

Politics

Copper Prices Soar as Geopolitical Tensions Prove Excellent for Portfolio Diversification

Analysts confirm that the prospect of global stability, or at least the illusion of it, is a boon for commodities that thrive on both peace and conflict.

9h ago1 views

Bush Family Announces New Line of 'Legacy' NFTs to Reassert Dominance Over GOP

Sources close to the former presidential dynasty confirm a digital art collection featuring 'iconic moments' and 'never-before-seen family photos' is imminent.

10h ago

GOP Strategists Confirm Voters Are, In Fact, Capable Of Voting For Other People

Groundbreaking analysis reveals that electoral outcomes are not always predetermined by the presence of a single, powerful individual.

15h ago

Palm Beach Residents Accidentally Vote Democrat After Mistaking Ballot for Menu

Local officials confirm a significant portion of the electorate believed they were ordering from a new 'Election Day Brunch' special.

1d ago

Latest Stories

Palm Beach Residents Accidentally Elect Democrat After Mistaking Ballot for Menu

Voters in Trump's home district reportedly confused the 'D' next to the candidate's name for a 'Delicious' rating.

1d ago1

Local Politician Vows Rematch After Losing Primary, Citing 'Unfair' Voter Participation

Candidate Josie Tomkow believes her opponent's victory was tainted by an excessive number of people casting ballots.

1d ago1

Local Politician Vows Rematch After Losing Primary, Citing 'Unfinished Business' With Campaign Funds

The candidate emphasized that her commitment to the democratic process extends well beyond a single election cycle, especially when there's still a budget to allocate.

1d ago2

Arkansas Governor Announces New State Holiday: 'Mandatory Civility Day'

Citizens to receive paid time off for engaging in polite, non-confrontational discourse, or at least pretending to.

1d ago4

Florida Democrats Celebrate Historic Victory in Special Election, Briefly Forget They Live in Florida

Party strategists reportedly scrambling to understand how a Democrat won anything in the Sunshine State.

1d ago4

Billionaire Who Stands To Profit From AI Warns Of AI-Induced Societal Collapse

Prominent venture capitalist predicts widespread job loss and political upheaval, conveniently omitting his firm's significant investments in artificial intelligence.

1d ago

Senators Propose Funding TSA While Leaving ICE to Panhandle for Deportation Money

A bipartisan group of lawmakers has found a 'potential breakthrough' in the Homeland Security stalemate, ensuring airport security while maintaining a crucial element of political leverage.

1d ago1

Revolving Door Enthusiast Natalie Brown Returns to Senate, Citing 'Unfinished Business' in Lobbying Pipeline

Sources indicate Brown’s move is part of a bold new strategy to ensure no legislative stone goes unturned by special interests.

1d ago1

Trump Campaign Unveils New 'Ancestral Purity Test' for Citizenship

The initiative aims to streamline the naturalization process by ensuring all new citizens can trace their lineage back to at least three generations of tax evasion.

1d ago5

Pentagon Unveils New 'War-as-a-Service' Model, Promises Monthly Engagement Options

Defense officials confirm the new subscription-based conflict strategy aims to provide flexible, scalable military interventions tailored to geopolitical demand.

1d ago1

Teen Entrepreneur Solves Plush Toy Chemical Crisis, Immediately Targeted by Big Fluff Lobby

A Houston high school student's innovative non-toxic plush line has sent shockwaves through the multi-billion dollar 'Cuddly but Carcinogenic' industry.

1d ago

Local News Outlet Unveils 'Team of the Week' Program, Promises to Acknowledge Existence

Editors confirm groundbreaking initiative will recognize individuals and groups for 'doing things' within the community.

1d ago2

House Leadership Affirms Congress Too Busy For Petty Concerns Like 'Due Diligence'

A top Democratic representative indicated that legislative priorities far outweigh the need to scrutinize taxpayer-funded security details.

2d ago1

Russian Influence Campaign In Angola Reportedly Just A Really Aggressive MLM Scheme

Sources indicate the Kremlin's geopolitical strategy in Africa is surprisingly similar to selling essential oils to your extended family.

2d ago2

Russia Unveils 'Influence-as-a-Service' Model for Global South Nations

Kremlin offers tiered packages for bespoke political meddling, promising 'democracy-adjacent' outcomes.

2d ago1

Congress Unites to Protect Nation From Knowing Too Much About Its Own Future

Bipartisan bill aims to shield Americans from the existential dread of accurate predictions, ensuring continued blissful ignorance.

2d ago1

Nation’s Top Doctor Nominee Stuck In Perpetual ‘On Hold’ Music Loop

The White House confirms its pick for Surgeon General has been listening to an instrumental version of 'Stairway to Heaven' for three weeks straight.

2d ago1

Local Officials Announce Brief Window For Political Signage Before Irreversible Visual Pollution Sets In

Residents of Aberdeen can briefly enjoy the vibrant tapestry of campaign promises before the landscape is permanently scarred by cardboard and plastic.

2d ago1

GOP Strategists Unveil New Election Strategy: Just Don't Look At The Other Guy

Facing an unexpectedly competent Democratic opponent, Republican consultants advise a 'head in the sand' approach to campaigning.

2d ago3

Slovenian Voters Demand Recount After Realizing They Accidentally Voted For Both Parties

A post-election survey reveals widespread confusion, with many citizens admitting they simply picked the names they liked best.

2d ago4

Louisiana Senate Votes To Officially Recognize 'Thoughts And Prayers' As Legally Binding Currency

Legislators cite overwhelming public demand for non-tangible assets in all financial transactions.

2d ago4

Trump Announces Peace Deal With Iran Achieved Entirely Through All-Caps Tweets

President credits 'very strong' online negotiations for averting conflict, promises 'tremendous' future of global diplomacy via social media.

2d ago2

Billionaire Philanthropist Tom Steyer Announces Bid For California Governor, Citing 'Unused Yacht Space'

Steyer believes his extensive experience in not having to worry about money makes him uniquely qualified to address the state's economic disparities.

2d ago4

Trump Announces New 'Schrödinger's Policy' on Iran, DHS Funding

President unveils groundbreaking approach where all policy outcomes are simultaneously true until observed by a journalist.

3d ago3

Poste Italiane To Purchase Telecom Italia, Convert All Landlines To Pigeon-Based Communication

The postal service aims to streamline communication infrastructure by reintroducing a classic, time-tested method.

3d ago2

Congress Debates Whether To Formally Acknowledge Ongoing War

Lawmakers consider if a 'War Powers Act' debate is the appropriate next step for a conflict already in its third week.

3d ago4

Hambry

Politics

Copper Prices Soar as Geopolitical Tensions Prove Excellent for Portfolio Diversification

Bush Family Announces New Line of 'Legacy' NFTs to Reassert Dominance Over GOP

GOP Strategists Confirm Voters Are, In Fact, Capable Of Voting For Other People

Palm Beach Residents Accidentally Vote Democrat After Mistaking Ballot for Menu

Latest Stories

Palm Beach Residents Accidentally Elect Democrat After Mistaking Ballot for Menu

Local Politician Vows Rematch After Losing Primary, Citing 'Unfair' Voter Participation

Local Politician Vows Rematch After Losing Primary, Citing 'Unfinished Business' With Campaign Funds

Arkansas Governor Announces New State Holiday: 'Mandatory Civility Day'

Florida Democrats Celebrate Historic Victory in Special Election, Briefly Forget They Live in Florida

Billionaire Who Stands To Profit From AI Warns Of AI-Induced Societal Collapse

Senators Propose Funding TSA While Leaving ICE to Panhandle for Deportation Money

Revolving Door Enthusiast Natalie Brown Returns to Senate, Citing 'Unfinished Business' in Lobbying Pipeline

Trump Campaign Unveils New 'Ancestral Purity Test' for Citizenship

Pentagon Unveils New 'War-as-a-Service' Model, Promises Monthly Engagement Options

Teen Entrepreneur Solves Plush Toy Chemical Crisis, Immediately Targeted by Big Fluff Lobby

Local News Outlet Unveils 'Team of the Week' Program, Promises to Acknowledge Existence

House Leadership Affirms Congress Too Busy For Petty Concerns Like 'Due Diligence'

Russian Influence Campaign In Angola Reportedly Just A Really Aggressive MLM Scheme

Russia Unveils 'Influence-as-a-Service' Model for Global South Nations

Congress Unites to Protect Nation From Knowing Too Much About Its Own Future

Nation’s Top Doctor Nominee Stuck In Perpetual ‘On Hold’ Music Loop

Local Officials Announce Brief Window For Political Signage Before Irreversible Visual Pollution Sets In

GOP Strategists Unveil New Election Strategy: Just Don't Look At The Other Guy

Slovenian Voters Demand Recount After Realizing They Accidentally Voted For Both Parties

Louisiana Senate Votes To Officially Recognize 'Thoughts And Prayers' As Legally Binding Currency

Trump Announces Peace Deal With Iran Achieved Entirely Through All-Caps Tweets

Billionaire Philanthropist Tom Steyer Announces Bid For California Governor, Citing 'Unused Yacht Space'

Trump Announces New 'Schrödinger's Policy' on Iran, DHS Funding

Poste Italiane To Purchase Telecom Italia, Convert All Landlines To Pigeon-Based Communication

Congress Debates Whether To Formally Acknowledge Ongoing War

Follow Hambry on X